Did she?

is it over? Now this is what happened, who'd you trust? Your eyes, what you're seeing now. Or your heart, which is something you trusted from the very moment that feeling existed.

Rainbearer, rainbearer......... have you find your "life's simplest thing"? :D

*Sigh

Confirmed. Rainbearer is now someone's. Talk more bout this later .

enjoy the jealousy :D

Okay, some guy pic on her profile picture. So what? It doesn't mean anything. Well, to be honest, it could mean something either. But then again, so what? She deserves it. You just take all the blame cause you've been playing too much.

I actually dunno why i still playing this game. Maybe this is a wake up call, to do what you have to do and take all the risks. At least, you'll be honest with yourself, and her.

C'mon. what's the worst could happen? Rejection? Hey, you've been through that a lot (well, work-wise). Why is saying "I Like you" have to be big a deal. It cost you nothing, you don't loose anything. Just say it, take the risk, then move on with it.

Right now? Well enjoy the jealousy :D

Wow, it's seems like forever since the last post about Lollypop. Uuhm, it all started when she Buzz me
"Tir, klaria tanggal segini, bla bla bla" and i thought it's just the same old joke that she always told me. But turns out, it is true. But unfortunelly, she couldn't make it to the Klaria.

What? Yes, it'll be irony. She's the one who always "Tir, kalo ada Klaria dateng yah" And I Always like "Naah, it never gonna happen" And she'll all be like "Heh, awas yah kalo benran ada loe gak dateng" And turns out, it does happened. I'm there, but she didn't ;(

Why? Well, Big news actually. She participated in this Abang None Thing. Yeah, She'll win it, i can tell. She has all the quality. And you know what? She won it. I'm so happy for her.

And i told her about my concern about this Abang None Thing. "You're gonna be all famous and forget about us" and she replied diplomatically "Do i look someone who give a damn about those thing? Don't worry, I got my friends and familly keeping my feet on the ground"

And i was kind of relieve. Ooh Well, We'll see :D

Yeah, this game is officially CLOSED!

I'm exhausted. Calibrating what's right, what's wrong. What to do, what not to do. What i should be, what's not. What's she thinking and what I am.

I'm exhausted to be a person that she might feel attracted to. Exhausted trying to read all the situations, to calculate when i should do this, and when i should to that.

And all of this come down to the simplest thing.

"I'm falling deeply in like with her" (I don't know if that's a real line)

Yes, she's lollypop,

once a while she's the rain bearer, who brings heavy rain and create the brightest sunshine afterwards,

and on a beautiful sunday morning with my Holga, I realize she's just... arani... enjoying her life's simplest pleasures.




(it's 1.25 A.M, she's online. And I'm talking to her right now!)

It was tribute to forest...

My... oh my... it was Tribute to Forest. And everything was falling apart. All the theories, all the textbook attitude, all gone.

It's just me, Holga, Lollypop, and beautiful saturday afternoon.

Seharian ama dia emang nggak bagus buat kesehatan, deg-deg an, seneng, semuanya jadi satu. Anjrriiiiitt. Man, she was hot.

Tau ah, this is not good. not good at all.

At least for my inner game.

It's so crazy when you falling deeply in like with someone and you've only met her like 4 times. Dan pada saatnya loe seharian ama dia. Semua teori2 bubarrrrr.

You just.... fall..... and have a beautiful sunday afternoon.

My...oh my......

Huehehe..... check this out. Dua hari ini, adalah status berikut yang gw pasang di MSN:

- My o my I even love your name...... rain bearer.
- Rain bearer is she who brings heavy rain and create the brightest sunshine afterwards


And lolypop keep buzzing me from just simple "cieh" sampai (maybe she can't stand it to ask) sampai "who's she"

And i keep strike her out. Padahal ini udah kebayang loe dipikiran gw, kalo dia bakalan nanya "who's she" Dan dibayangan gw langsung gw jawab aja "It's you" with serius mode on, tapi di hati "nyantai mode"

Tapi, nggak lah. nggak sekarang. walau gw tau itu bakalan my only chance. gak bakalan lagi tuh dia nanya "who's she?"

Yg jadi pertanyaan adalah "kenapa dia nanya itu?" padahal sering banget gw bikin status2 kayak gitu, tapi dia gak pernah nanya.

Jawabannya: I, once, called her "Rain Bearer"

tuh,

tapi cuma sekali doang kok, Man, she really has sharp memory!

Wow did i missed the chance there?

Naaaaaah, maybe keep her questioning is the best right now!


Lanjuuuut

act vs mindset

damn! the back out plan i was planned, that didn't work out. Why? She keeps coming and tease me around. Aaaarrrrrgh. Gara-gara Trifor nih. Akhirnya malah sama aja kayak kemaren-maren.


Okay, inner game......inner game.....inner game. Play jerk if you want, act a lot of needy if you need to. But the most important is here (pointing to the head)

Apapun yang gw lakukan, hanya untuk saat itu. There's no time to think apa effectnya, bagaimana kelanjutannya, tadi bener ato nggak.

Remember, there is no "The One"

Tease her, bust her ball, beg, ask, anything, it's a free skate. The rule is "Play it, don't feel it!

we'll see how it goes.

Everything is a test!

Guess what? yes lollypop. Semalem buzz gw di MSN. Nanya: Tir, sekarang kerja dimana sih? What the? Padahal kan gw dah ngasih tau dia, 2 hari sebelum gw cabut. Trus dia bilang "Iya, ke ogilvy yah? Yaaah jauh banget sih, kan gw nggak bisa mampir"

Laaaaaaaahhh? Langsung gw bilang aja "Ah dulu disuruh mampir gak mao, sekarang alasan jauh, taaaeee....ah"

Trus, dia bilang "Iyaa, gw sebenernya waku itu mau mampir, tiraaa, tp pas loe sms itu gw dah mulai nari. Jadi gw ga tau kalo loe mo pindah 2 hari lagi"

Yaah seterusnya, ngobrol-ngobrol gak penting gitu deh (Including someday in the future kita bakalan ketemu di austin, texas ;p)

But you know the whole point of last night conversation is? I sense a little bit push and pull, here. And it's coming from her. Damn! Knowing that i've been abandoned her for the last two weeks.

Ooh, nooo. I ain't play her game. Not now. But it was nice chat indeed, though.

ps. kok lama2 kayak dear diary gini sih nih blog. It supposed to be resourceful for the GAME, right? O, well, learn your lesson in everything, man!


cheers.

progress on lollypop

Okay, it's about lollypop. Nggak ada perkembangan yang berarti. Yang bisa gw ceritain disini adalah statusnya, peta hubungan sekarang ini.

Okay, dia udah tahu kalo gw interesed in her, walaupun blom 100 % yakin because everytime she performed shit tests i keep throw her away. Tapi dia dah tahu kalo gw interested in her, yg bikin dia bingung mungkin kenapa gw gak berusaha ngejar dia (which is i should or i shouldn't, still don't know) Itu kenapa dia masih suka ngasih shit test ke gw, tease me and all. Dia mo confirm apakah gw ngejar dia ato nggak.

Tp gw ga bakal ngejar dia. Masalahny adalah kalo gw bertahan dengan strategi sekarang, gw ga bakal kemana2. Because to honest, she's not easy (which is good, as a challenge) Pilihannya adalah gw musti bikin sesuatu yg baru, cara baru, yg bikin dia attract ke gw. Tapi apa? caranya gimana? Yuk kita bedah satu-satu. lihat mana yg paling mungkin dilakukan.

Ask her out on a date? This has been done,reportnya: well she didn't responded very well. And i made slightly little mistake by acting a little needy (dengan nanyain about that date, berulang-ulang. I know, thats the worst. Okay, i delivered with C&F thing, but still, needy is needy)

Try to get involved with her activity? This also has been asked, dan gw ga dapet celah. Baru aja mo involved ama Trifor lewat baggymonkey, tp ternyata ga bisa, oh well.

Hhm.. gimana lagi yah? MUngkin strategi yg pas untuk saat ini adalah.... yes, i'm afraid i will have to say this. I'm gonna back out.... just for now. Because i believe, wise man is they who know when to move forward and back out. remember, one step back to get two step up.

Itung-itung sambil latihan inner game. now that i think about it, back out is the best option for now. Because what? I'm too neeedy right now, and that's not good. I'll be back for more lollypop, when new innergame is ready.

Nah, intinya back out itu ngapain aja? Gak pernah nelpon or SMS lagi (which is i never did) jangan negor dia di MSN (this is gonna be hard, but i can do it)

For how long? Well, a month max. Tp yg pasti, when i come back musti ada cara baru. Jangan sampe kayak gini lagi. A plan, that i must have.

Yeah, we'll be together, just a matter of time.

This is called plain white talks

Just had a great conversation with lollypop. The game didn't involved there, just plain conversation with no IOD, IOI, whatsoever. Just perform CT, it's all test, test, test (she shout " I hate, people testing me, hehehhe... I'm testing you now, sweety ;p) Gila, susah masuk ke plan scenario nih. Maybe tomorrow.

First Post (shit test, bad result)

Just performed shit test there. And the result is, well, shit. Let's give it try again tomorrow. Or the day after that.

Anyway, first post. Let's see how this game turns out. Can't wait.